A little piece of heaven

p1040203Last year was a bit of a whirlwind I had been suffering from stress and anxiety with the realization that I was the only one that could do something about it.  Looking back over the years I suddenly had light bulb moments where I could actually see the anxieties building up in me. I would always put it down to something else and as such last year they all built up into a massive smack in the face.  After another trip to my doctors when Guy made me go after a nasty panic attack brought on by a horrible migraine at 3am in the morning, where he had to witness me throwing up, crying, shaking and looking like a crazy adrenaline pumped freak.

The doctors were very understanding and unsurprisingly told me that it was all too common in this day age to have people suffering from stress and anxiety.  That we never switch off, the constant access to the internet, emails, text messages means we are never just at peace with ourselves. That is only too true for me a confessed control freak workaholic that never switches off which only makes the fact that Guy and I also work together even worse. My doctor said he could look at drugs to help me but that I should give stress management ago first and I had to agree I needed to make a change in my life and pills were not the answer.

I started to look at mindfulness and various other self help books, I even looked into classes. I found some very useful meditation videos on YouTube from a man called Michael Sealey which upon listening to them for the first time made me cry. I had an overwhelming feeling of release and calm. Learning breathing exercises and what could calmed me down and stop my migraines was amazing (although it doesn’t work every time). What was truly eye opening to me was that I had the power over my brain and that I could start the anxiety but I could also stop it.

It’s been a long journey and I am by far cured, I have recently started to use the app headspace to learn meditation and the interesting concept of observing our thoughts and feelings, not to fixate on them and try and stop them but to observe and just let them be. One of my main issues has been trying to fight the tension in my neck, the throb in the side of my head, the tight knot in my stomach, my racing heart and mind. Even telling myself off “stop being an idiot” “why are you worrying about it, it doesn’t matter” “why can’t I just be normal” the more I keep berating myself the worse I feel.  Learning to just let these feelings wash over me to tell myself it’s ok to feel tense is alien but it does seem to be working little by little.

One of the little changes I have been trying to make is the switching off and towards the end of last year Guy and I decided to bite the bullet and buy a holiday cottage in Port Isaac North Cornwall. We had talked dreamily about it for years forever looking on right move at our dream cottages about how we would renovate them and spend summer days on the beach with the pups.  We had a little of bit of money put aside and talked of having a new kitchen and various other treats for ourselves when I said to Guy what are we waiting for? We don’t have any children, we don’t need to move house and we have everything we really need how many more bikes and handbags could we buy?!

It took a bit of convincing with Guy but I knew we had to do it this was going to be our little bit of heaven our escapism from the rat race. So on the 2nd of December we drove down to Port Isaac in a little van full of furniture with the pups and got the keys to our little 1850’s old coastguard station cottage and we couldn’t have been happier.  We spent the entire Christmas and New year decorating and it was such fun and bliss sat in front of our little log burner with two very happy little dogs curled in front of it.

I am going to post the renovations we have done to the cottage and the places we love to go in Cornwall etc. The photograph is the back of the cottage in the garden.

Also I would love to hear from anyone who suffers from anxiety and how you deal with it as I really feel talking about it helps.

 

 

 

 

My (not so much sale) shopping…

 

We went to London yesterday whilst my husband went on a brewery tour (a Christmas present from friends) I decided to brave the shops and get me some bargains. Although I love a bargain I am terrible at shopping for them. I try and get enthusiastic rolling my sleeves up to elbow my way to the rails but when they look a total jumbled mess I can’t get excited.  I find myself looking lovingly at the new items gleaming from the well organized, beautifully displayed rails.

Even the most stunning designer handbags look like something from a car boot sale if they are thrown together looking grubby on a shelf. I know that the psychology of displaying sale items is to pile it all up to make them look like a massive bargain that you Just can’t not buy. But this just doesn’t work on me, which is a surprise as I am a retailers dream being a shopaholic. Although its probably the reason that I am a shopaholic that it doesn’t work.

I love the whole experience of shopping, the excitement of finding something I instantly fall in love with. The thrill of finding that one item that is going to make me look stunning or make my life perfect (yes I know I’m idiot).  If the item is then beautifully wrapped and put in a cute bag all tied up with a bow then I am in shopping heaven. So this is why sale shopping has no appeal, fighting through badly displayed items, standing in sweaty queues and seeing my purchases thrown in a red sale bag just doesn’t do it for me.

Getting back to my shopping trip yesterday I did go with the intention of sale shopping but as per usual I was seduced by all the non sale items. In all fairness I did know that I would be making a trip to Charlotte Tilbury’s new boutique in Convent Garden which would consist of me having to hold myself back from buying the entire store!  As I don’t live near any shops that sell her make up I have to stock up when I am in London (this is my good excuse) .

I couldn’t resist her make up look “Rock Chick” which  is going to make me look instantly like Kate Moss. The kit consists of everything you need for your eyes, lips and cheeks all wrapped up in her cool make up bag with instructions to create the look. (and then put in a box with a bow and then in a cute bag) I also purchased the gift of goddess skin set which has three of her travel sized skin care items goddess clay mask, magic cream and wonder glow. I haven’t tried any of her skincare so I thought this was a good way to give it a try and handy for Traveling.  The last item was her retoucher concealer which I can’t wait to try as heard so many good things about it.

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My other purchases were from my trip to Anthropologie another store I can only shop at in London. I love love love this store after my very first visit to it in New York in 1998!  I have been on the look out for some pretty coasters for our lounge, to protect our Ercol coffee table.  Their celestial coasters are pure shimmering  gorgeousness and pick out the accent colour in our lounge. I then couldn’t help myself with a necklace purchase the Alexandria brass and vintage gold necklace with taupe leather is so pretty.

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You would have noticed the necklace and ring above which was another non sale purchase (I know I can’t help myself!) These were a surprise find in Top Shop. I haven’t been in Top Shop for a few years, I couldn’t help but feel too old and not being a size 6 too fat to shop in there. It was pouring with rain yesterday so out of shelter and curiosity I entered the large Top shop on Oxford street. I was very surprised to find they had a great jewellery section. I feel in love with the Ottoman Hands jewellery collection and had to fight myself from buying more than these two pieces.

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So there you have it not one item was actually in the sale, but I do love each and every item and they came beautifully wrapped (even in Top Shop)